THE CALL ... AND INSOMNIA

THE CALL
I spoke to Diana, I can't even remember when. Apparently the District Manager had decided to go with another applicant. Diana was hesitant to speak to me and when I inquired if he had said why he did not decide on me, she said that he hadn't. I inquired as to when I could re-apply, and she said a year from now.

INSOMNIA
My spirit has been very restless as of late. My sleep schedule is all out of kilter and I find that when I go to bed, I cannot sleep. I used to be able to lay there long enough that I would drift off to sleep as a result of being warm and laying down, however that is not the case lately. I am anxious to get my room situated so that I can begin the search that is within me. I also figure that if I exercise before going to bed, I will stand a better chance of getting to sleep.

WAITING FOR THE CALL

Diana will be contacting me today to let me know the results of her discussion with the District Manager regarding their interviews with me, comparing notes and what not. I am anxious and excited and confident that God's Will will prevail. And either way, I am ready. I will post again when I know the results.

DREAMS AND INTERPRETATIONS...

I have always had vivid dreams that I can recall amazing details from, and as of late, that ability has been growing exponentially. Last night, in 2 hours of sleep, I had the most amazing and life like dream I have ever had. Textures, people, senses, emotions, and even names now... A quick Google of dreams or dream sequences is pretty much useless, unless you want the opinion of every wacko out there who thinks they are a dream guru. I understand the process of dreaming, and dream identification symbols... but I don't dream in symbols. I dream in ... events? sequences? stories? I don't even know what to call it. I do know however that it is getting stronger. The feeling that I wake with, which is often the first identification that you recall your dream, is almost displacing me when I first wake up. I feel like I am out of place when I am awake. (As if this life was the dream...). I know it sounds all very strange and Twilight Zone-ish... but I am going to have to start keeping a journal of my dreams. I used to do that years ago when I was training my dream recall and dream interpretation, but I got out of the habit as a result of another habit that caused me to be unable to remember my dreams at all. Now that the inhibiting habit has been laid to rest, I find that picking up my journal habit is a good idea.
--BRIEF BREAK--
Ok, the dream journal has been created and I have decided to keep it private for now, at least until I start understanding the meaning of these dreams.

PRAISE GOD FOR MORNING DEVOTIONS

This morning my family and I got up early and did our morning devotions over coffee! Oh it was a tremendous boost to my spirit, and it got the day off to the right start. It's amazing that getting up half an hour before you normally do, and spending that time in God's Word can make such a difference, but it does! I feel like I'm on top of my day, I have a song in my heart and I am eager to see what this day will bring. We had a time of fellowship and prayer and though we had 5 minutes to get ready and get out the door, they made it to work with 10 minutes to spare...THAT IS MY GOD! "Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven, and His Righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." It's like my Dad used to preach. I thank God for my Dad. As faulted as he was, in all things that mattered he was a great man. Glory to God.

PASS, RELEASE AND VIEWING

I passed my clerical test for employment, and when the store manager calls me with my final interview with the district manager, my employment will be finalized. The test was a lot harder than I anticipated, and being that it was timed, I found myself well out of practice taking tests. I barely made it, it required a 70% in order to pass, and I had exactly 70% by the grace of God. I had a lot of questions that I didn't get to because of the time constraint, but I excelled at the spelling, grammar and problem solving, so it balanced out my lack of speed on my math questions. Praise God Almighty for the light at the end of the unemployment tunnel.

IRON MAN 2 is released today. Despite my normal aversion to sequels, I am eager to see this release simply because the way they did the first one with the suit and the flight/fight scenes, leads me to believe that this release will definetly be worth seeing.

I viewed DONNIE DARKO this weekend. Now let me preface this entry with a few points. First, the statements on the back of this movie do NOT do it justice, as it makes it sound like just another twisted movie. Secondly, as noted in my previous post, I have not been a Jake Gyllenhaal fan, so I would not have seen this just based on his casting in it. Third, the title alone make it sound like a dark movie, and with the cover art that it has, you are led to believe exactly this. Now that I've made those points, I would like to say I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this movie. When you first watch this movie, you are so confused and struggle just to make sense of what you are watching, that you find yourself getting frustrated with it. I viewed the Directors Cut which has an extra 20 minutes of footage and is apparently much easier to understand than it's counterpart, the theatrical release. I can't even imagine watching the theatrical version, as when the directors cut was through, I sat there in a state of WTF?!?! and something that resembled pain. My mind was literally hurting from trying to figure out this film and it's characters, plot, and over all meaning. I WAS ENTHRALLED! It was like a puzzle that I had managed to get the edge pieces set up for and my mind was racing with all the data that I observed in the movie that I was not consciously processing while viewing it. I have not been so mentally stimulated by a movie in all my days. I was fascinated with the concept of the film, as each element had been carefully placed and played out as to not give away the ending, and much like a suspense/mystery movie, each character had a purpose, each scene played a vital part to the plot. While I sat there in a stupefied silence trying to ascertain what I had just spent 2 hours and 20 minutes watching, I was excitedly realizing that I had every intention of watching it again...IMMEDIATELY. Watching it a second time cleared up a lot of the confusion, but I am excited to say that I still do not have a full understanding of the film, and that THRILLS me! Most of the stuff that comes out of Hollywood is for the most part just mental candy that you view, and then move on from. FOR 2 DAYS my mind has been chewing on this movie and every person that I talk to about it I find that I become more intrigued by it. I will warn you, you will be frustrated, confused and even ready to shut it off, but do yourself a favor...DON'T! Watch it through to the end, and give yourself a moment to process what you just watched, and see if your mind isn't reeling from it. Seeing Donnie Darko reminded me of how I felt when I walked out of the theater after seeing Matrix. It was like the world had been turned upside down. I stood outside the theater with a good friend of mine who suggested seeing it, and for an hour we just imagined what the implications of the film were.

INTERVIEW SET, MATCH....POINT

I now have an interview appointment with the manager at Family Video here in town, on Friday 24th at 1pm. I remain hopeful that this will bring an end to this desert of unemployment. I feel that this employment would offer a good match for me because of my customer service abilities, as well as my love for movies. Once my employment there is settled, God willing, I will begin exploration of continuing my education here at the local college. This is exciting for me because I've wanted to continue my education for some time now, and having a full time job to support my career goal of being a professional illustrator seems like a good match.

On the Lil'Man front...his new thing is pointing. He points to various (and often every) object in a room until you tell him what it is. Sometimes this pointing relates to something he wishes to handle, or something he wants (like his blankie or bottle). This continues to be a great source of entertainment for us because he becomes excited with pointing at things, like it's his own personal game of finding something to point to. He has entered his entertaining stage of his development, and often does things simply to observe our reactions to his behavior. He is also testing his boundaries with his mom & dad. He will get excited and begin hitting your face, at which point we have to tell him 'no'. It's heartbreaking watching his reaction to this, because I'm sure he doesn't fully comprehend what it is that we are so stern about, and with a look of confusion or hurt he will often resume hitting you in the face. 

CRAZY WEEKEND

I haven't posted for the past two days because of our birthday party and a couple other reasons that I will go into later on in this post.

Birthday: Had a wonderful time. Thom, Kathy, Lil'Man and Matthew came out to our house. Mom made home made pizza that was extraordinary, and we watched "Prince of Persia: Sands of Time". Now I'm not a big Jake Gyllenhaal fan, I thought he was pretty good in the movie "Day After Tomorrow" and I've never seen Brokeback Mountain. I was seriously disappointed in one major part of this movie, and that is that they have a Caucasian playing the role of a Persian. His acting was fine, I just couldn't get past the fact that they made this, what is to me, MAJOR whooopsie... Thom says that it was because he looked like the character in the game, but I have to disagree. Now I've not played the game, but from the pictures I Googled, I find someone with exotic features who is obviously not Caucasian. So I dunno, I might be over reacting, but I guess I'm just fed up with Hollywood doing whatever they want with whatever they want without regard. The movie has some incredible special effects, which are at times confusing when they are happening, but are explained later on. Then, following the movie, we had strawberry birthday cake, which was awesome. Unfortunately we did give Nathan some, and he had no interest in going to sleep despite the lateness of the hour. He was very cute eating the icing though.  Matthew went home late Saturday evening, Thom and Kathy stayed the night.

Sunday we watched "Where the Wild Things Are" with Nathan. I really enjoyed the movie, though I don't remember the story from my childhood. The movie was very strange, but I found that I enjoyed it when everyone else thought it was bad. I don't know why I liked it so much, as I've always liked the monsters in the book, I thought they were really well done in the movie. Carol, the most popular of the monsters, and Max were great. I don't remember much of the other monsters, and they too were good, but there was something about the friendship between Max and Carol that I really identified with. After the movie, Thom and Kathy and Lil'Man went home. I dozed off in the recliner watching TV, and woke like one or two in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. I did some WOW'ing and Facebook updates through the morning till about three in the afternoon when I laid down for a nap. I had no idea where the time went.

I was awoken at 7pm with a call from Thom. Kathy had been in a car accident (She's fine, Praise God Almighty) however their van radiator was smashed into the frame of the van, and has to be repaired. Thom was calling to see if I could come out and get them and they would spend the night at our house again and I would take them to work this morning. So, it's been an eventful few days... and while I deeply felt the loss of my time spent in the Word, I was happy to do them this morning with Mom and Nathan. 

I do have news on the employment front. I put in an application to Family Video here in Lindenhurst on Grand Avenue. I have to return Diana's call from yesterday. She is the manager of the Family Video, and she called while I was napping and had already left for the day when I woke. I'm excited about the prospect of finally getting back to work. I wish I had spent my time off more productively, but I'm putting the cart before the horse.

I need to re-arrange my room before I go back to work, or at least make some strides in that direction. The East wall needs a baseboard to cover the half inch gap between the wall and the floor. The dampness from the crawlspace is mildewing my legal cabinet, and my comic trunks are on that wall as well. I haven't decided on a layout yet, which I guess is my first step. I would like to put our desks back in the frontroom, but with the current furniture that we have, I don't see that as a possibility. I don't know at this point. I guess we'll see.

I will write more later, hopefully I'll be meeting with Diana today, and I'll have that update as well as my devotional posting.

ALLOWING GOD TO USE ME

Thinking of the life I've lived by my own ways, regret seeps in and tries to take hold, to break down and destroy my spirit. I thank God that He doesn't look back, that He looks forward to what will be, what can be, with a willing vessel.

Today's devotion follows yesterdays amazing study with a call to not remain stagnant and focused on the past. Moving forward and allowing God to use me, the flawed vessel that I am, and not trying to do it under my own power.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.
-2 Corinthians 4:7

Earthen vessels... a vessel such as a pot or container used to contain something. A vessel that is made of dirt, that is to say it is like clay, as we were created from the dirt of the earth, but also has the understanding that this clay vessel can be broken. As human nature goes, we stumble and fall, often cracking or busting wide open. This scripture proves to us that God knows our flawed humanity, and while He does not condone our sin, He accepts that we are the flawed creations of a fallen nature. And as such, in His predestined knowledge, He accepts that. It is the contents of the vessel that He focus' on. We have to be full of Him, full of His Glory, His Spirit, His Power...to enable us to go forth and make a difference in this world. Even the most flawed vessel, when filled with the finest wine, can be used to serve a guest of honor. Sometimes we have to confess to ourselves that we are not the golden vessel... we are the dirt and water. We may not be the golden vessel, but when God needs us to fulfill His plan, we become the CHOSEN vessel. Praise God even in our flawed nature we can be chosen to serve.

A NEW DIRECTION

Last night, as I lay on my pillow I considered my life and the direction it is headed. The end thereof was death. My dreams have been exceedingly active lately, some of which I remember vividly, others are more of a feeling I wake with in the morning. One thing remains the same...urgency.

As I lay considering the day and my lack of productivity there was one prominent thought in the back of my mind, one which came forward with an almost violent abandon: I AM THE TRUE VINE. The husbandman cometh. Branches that do not bear fruit are taken away. Immediately I saw a vine that had great leaves and was strong, but bore no fruit. Then I saw it laying on the ground, withered and dead.

Though I spoke not a word, my heart, which has been stone cold dead for so long, cried out to the Lord. Save me O God from my self and sinful nature. I drifted off to sleep to the piano music that I left playing on my laptop, no answer received.

This morning I woke around 5:45am to take out the trash and open the gate for Thom & Kay and da lil'man. After getting a cup of coffee, I decided to blog this morning and chose to make it about this new direction in my life. A physical declaration of my intention in my own words. So I decided to do some scripture reading this morning. Considering my lack of time spent in the Word lately, I had no idea where to begin. I decided to pick up Old Faithful, my Smith Wigglesworth devotional. I was not ready for what took place next.

Title: HE IS COMING!

James 5:7-8 
Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh.

The study talks about the precious fruit of the earth... which is the church, the Body of Christ. I finished the study with a feeling of purpose, divine appointment if you will. I looked up 'husbandman' and found that it appears in 7 verses in the Bible. And there, in the comfort of my own room, God met me and told me what I needed to hear.

John 15:1-5
  ¹I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
   ²Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.
   ³Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.
   ⁴Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.
   ⁵I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Abide in me, and I in you. I have known for a long time, as taught to me by a great saint whom God gave me study under, that the scriptures, and the DAILY study of them, is the washing of the Word. We must continually cleanse ourselves by reading God's Word. Have I been doing this? No. To my shame I have not. It is no wonder to me that my life has become the cesspool of shame that it has. ABIDE. For without me you can do nothing. My life is living proof of this. Believe me, I have tried. It's time to return, to abide.

It is amazing to me that God can be as forgiving as He is. With all the time I've lost, it took one heartfelt cry and He met me here, in my shame, just like He did the first time. I didn't have to clean myself up, not that I even could have though I have tried and failed miserably. Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it. (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

God grant me the strength to abide in Your Word, the courage to find the day an opportunity for Your Glory, and the wisdom to follow Your Will for my life.

SCOTCH - A LESSON LEARNED

I had a bout with a bottle of scotch yesterday. Clan MacGregor Scotch Whiskey to name names. I'm still feeling the effects of it today, nearly 6pm the following day. My balance is off and my head is swirly, combined with a massive headache, though I'm relieved that it's not a hangover of epic proportions. For those of you who don't know, or don't know me well, I'm no drinker. I can't stand the taste of beer and usually only drink at social events, and even then I have a Martini or two. My family has history with alcohol, and I don't trust the addictive human nature since I've seen what it can do to someone first hand. I'm no prude, or saint to be sure... I just know that there is a time and a place for drinking. Every day after work isn't it. I can see having a glass of wine with dinner, or the occasional night cap, but getting ferschnockered isn't my cup of Earl Grey Tea.

Now we will understand why I have these tenets of wisdom. Yesterday, when I decided to have some scotch with my brother, I didn't take into account how much he enjoys drinking. Ere go, a single glass of scotch turned into 6, and for the first time in my drinking history Thomas reports that I pulled a Dad in the kitchen. I have no memory of it...none whatsoever.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT - FRIENDS UNITED

I am excited to announce that my two brothers who play World of Warcraft have finally returned to the server that I play on. This is big for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that we make an insurmountable force to be reckoned with, the other is that we make an incredible team. We work together and share resources so that we are not so dependent on the Auction House. Originally we started out on the same server, but due to people being morons, and the server economy being absolutely REDONKULOUS, they opted to have their characters transferred to another server, and converted to horde. I would have done the same, but I can't see spending money to have characters transferred or faction changed. Not to mention it is pricey to do.

Chris made a Death Knight, who just made 80, and I was honored to run him through his first non-heroic dungeons. Again, we made a great team. Will is working on his characters, and I have no doubt that he will be level 80 within weeks, if it even takes that long. Thom has been busy with family life, to which I applaud his dedication and I am very proud of him for prioritizing his responsibilities. Unfortunately this has not left him much time to dedicate to World of Warcraft, but these things need to be in perspective.

Kalypsonite (my level 80 mage and main character) has been running dungeons like crazy, as I've been training his casting cycles (also referred to as spell rotations and cool downs). He now has 3 of the Khadgar's Conquest gear, which has had a drastic impact on his spell casting and DPS (Damage Per Second) rating. I am almost always the highest DPS output for our 5 man heroic level dungeons, which in and of itself is a testament to the gear and studying that I've done with him. Kalypsonite was my very first character, often referred to as a MAIN, and the other 9 characters are referred to as ALTS (alternates). This is a personal identification only, and has no bearing on the individual characters or their game play. I have enjoyed many of my characters and their different abilities and classes, but I have to confess, a level 80 mage is where my heart is at. I love playing Kaly not only because of the fact that he has so much history with friends in the game and memories attached to him, but because of the versatility of the class. Mages are given a wide variety of offensive, defensive and utility spells which allow them to be a vital part of any grouping. While I have not had any experience with raids as of yet (raids are 10 or 25 player groups that take on a dungeon together, usually resulting in much better loot drops from the enemies, and usually taking anywhere from 2-3 hours to complete), I am eagerly looking forward to experiencing that level of epic play. One of the benefits of playing a main and training in their ability cycles is that you by default become more confident in your ability to handle situations and compensate for unexpected events. A great side effect of this is that your PVP (player-vs-player) skills and confidence is also boosted. Playing against a PVE (player-vs-environment) NPC (non-player-character) is vastly different in terms of tactical abilities and damage expectations simply because when someone else is directly controlling your opponent, you are vulnerable to their unique style of play. I used to have a very hard time understanding this, and not being confident didn't help. Now that I know more of what my character is capable of, and have a better understanding of compensation measures that are available to me, I find that I'm more on the prowl for horde characters. This is an epic advancement in my game play simply because I used to run away when ever I was confronted by a horde character. WOOTSIES!!!!

Yes, I did say that. That's my word. 

On the job front I've had a bit of a set back. I was looking forward to working for Borders, but apparently the job that I posted for was outdated. They do not begin hiring till mid-November for seasonal employment. I spoke to the General Manager of the store that I was applying to, and after explaining that I would be happy for ANY position available, my application was for a full-time bookseller position. It was a very pleasant conversation, and he recommended that I re-apply November 1st. He was very adamant about the fact that he does indeed review ALL applications that are received for his store, and looked forward to my application come November. I don't know if he was just being kind, or if he meant it, but I will take either one and definitely apply come November.

There are a couple of businesses in the immediate area that I am going to apply to this week. Please keep me in your prayers for guidance and wisdom in pursuing employment. I don't know what God has planned for me, but I do hope that I am attuned to His Holy Spirit enough to discern His direction.

That's about it for right now. I'll be blogging some more later.

THE WEEKEND OF...MODERN WARFARE 2

Well, I had my first experience with the PS3 this weekend. I played Modern Warfare 2 with my brother and my nephew. And I ROCKED! As you may not know, I have a propensity for the shotgun, automatic shotgun and SPAS-12 (which is a quite divine AUTOMATIC tactical shotgun... ooooh weee!!) while playing first person shooter games. My nephew was amused that I was so good at the game as we completed a number of missions in the Special Ops section (which allows you to play solo or co-op with someone in the same room with you, otherwise you have to play over the net with friends) and once my comprehension of the controls was up to par, quite a few times he remarked how amazed he was at my competence. One of the ops involves being attacked by dogs while you're avoiding fire from 40 aggressors who are converging on your position. I figured out that while we stick together when we hear the dogs, when they attack, they can be shot off of the team member, rather than depending on having to personally remove the animal yourself. I have to confess that the game seemed to be anticipating our moves, and even learning from our behavior, thus making the game quite amazing to play, and near impossible to complete on harder levels. That is until your experience and training provide you with the platform of tactical strategy that you need in order to out-smart them. I have to admit, I was really impressed. I'm not a big 'war-game' type of guy and first person shooters don't really set my sails in the wind, but this game was INCREDIBLE. I so enjoyed playing it that we completely lost track of the time and before we logged off, we were near our 9th straight hour of play. I haven't spent that kind of time on a game in a long time... it was hard to put the paddle down, despite my very sore eyes and pounding head.

MODERN WARFARE 2 (PS3) - 5/5 stars

1 star (game play) Engaging, entertaining and challenging

1 star (replay value) With the seeming intelligence of the enemy, even the same level is lots of fun

1 star (graphics) Absolutely incredible, realistic sounds/textures give you the feeling that YOU ARE THERE

1 star (controls) Easy to learn & well thought out. Keeping your head is easy when you know what buttons to press.

1 star (functionality) Being able to resuscitate your team mate after he takes an onslaught of fire, and having a minute and a half to clear the area makes playing the harder levels less overwhelming.

Good stuff. I can see where this would be a very good frustration relief tool.

FOR BETTER OR WORSE

It's almost been a month to the day since I updated this. I just can't get it. Maybe I should see a therapist?

I will warn you now, this isn't going to be pretty. In a conflagration of emotions that I am feeling right now, none of them are butterflies and flowers. This is the epic blog of doom... Kuragari is in the very essence of his name.

I have been unemployed now for almost 6 months. I feel like a worthless piece of trash. I don't have a degree, and being unemployed for 6 months looks like a lazy ass at best. I could not get to sleep tonight for the torrent of hatred running through my mind about the current state of my life. I find myself at odds with near everything and beside the growing angst that is compelling me, I do nothing to improve it. It's the strangest state of affairs I have ever known. Coming off of the Georgia Pines Committee I am sure has much to do with it, however, I never imagined that my life would drain away the way it has. Day in and day out, nothing changes, nothing is improved... It's like that stupid movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. Over and over and over and over again. I am sure that I am depressed... who in my situation wouldn't be? I can't even begin to imagine what an embarrassment I am to my family. Ugh. Now I am just depressing myself more.

I can not even find solace in World of Warcraft. I find that the mechanics of the game at level 80 are devised as to continually trap people into playing more. First it was the race to 80. Then it was gear score. Then it was DPS output. Then it was completing the 5 man raids with understanding the bosses and pulls. Now, at the gap between 5-man and 10/25-man raids, I find that I am tired of running the 5 man raids because a.) it's always the same content...over and over and over and over again. b.) the loot that drops is ALWAYS below what I have and never worth 'NEED' and usually gets scooped up by someone supporting their alt or dual-spec. (WHICH PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE I'M NOT HERE TO SUPPORT YOUR ALTS/SPEC'S. NEED WHAT YOU NEED ON THIS CHARACTER AND RUN YOUR ALT/SPEC THROUGH ANOTHER TIME!). 

See, I told you I'd be a ray of sunshine didn't I? Anyway, I'll update tomorrow (today) when I'm in a better frame of mind. I get the feeling that things are changing and I'm standing on the sidelines. I don't want to be there.

UPDATES AND ORGANIZATION

Well it's been a while since my last post, with good reason. I have been very busy. Unfortunately nothing yet on the job front, however I have been actively pursuing keeping an active lifestyle in the absence of gainful employment. Aside from normal household duties such as maintaining the lawn and other things, I have rearranged the front room to accommodate my year old nephew (i.e. providing a safe place for him to play) and I am now attempting to organize the whirlwind of debris that has been left in my bedroom.

At my age, I find that I am in a unique place to decide what I need in my life, versus what is just clutter. Aside from the obligatory necessities of life (i.e. bills and clothing) I find that I have a plethora of things that I do not need on a daily basis, yet I continue to keep them.

ARTWORK: I have every drawing that I have ever done, be it a sketch, an idea hastily drawn to capture the premise of the thought, or a completed piece that I have yet to do anything with. Most of these things will be scanned into my computer to be dealt with in Photoshop for fine tuning or completion, while others will no doubt continue to exist in their current form. I have issues with completing pieces that I've begun, mainly for the reason that I fear ruining the piece, or do not know how I want to proceed with the piece. Be it what setting to put a character in, whether or not to color it, or even something as simple as placement or line weight. It is very frustrating, and while I have identified what I need to do, I find that I do not know how to proceed.

COMICS: I have a vast amount of comic books that I have acquired over my life thus far, but I find that I do not have the time necessary to dedicate to their care or keeping. I have two foot lockers and a legal cabinet full of comics. The space alone that they require is becoming overwhelming. I have yet to decide what course of action I will take with them, as I am torn between knowing that in this digital age they are obsolete for all intents and purposes, and the knowledge that I have been their guardian for this long, they have become my prodigy of sorts.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT: This continues to be a great source of adventure and outlet for me, but I am keenly aware of how much time I spend on it. I am amazed at how judgemental people are of the game. I see it two fold: one is that it saves me an epic assload of money because I am not out buying games every month, and it also allows me a way to communicate with my brother doing something that we both enjoy, and we can do it together. Now, I will be honest with you, I am no fan of paying a monthly fee to play a game, but $14 is a lot cheaper than $50 for a new game. Not to mention the wear and tear that it saves my computer from having to install and uninstall those games. Patches and updates aside, I find that this is the most financially responsible way for me to outlet my need to play an RPG (role playing game).


RELIGIOUS STUDIES: I have much angst about this subject, simply because I miss it so. Studying the scriptures used to be such a boon for me because of the amount of personal gain that I would receive from it. Now, I am not going to say that I am some great scholar on the Word of God, but I will say this...ANY TIME spent in God's Word is time well spent and is beneficial for living this life. I hate to use the old adage that the devil made me do it, but compared to how avidly I used to study the Word, to the sidebar in my life that it has become, I can clearly see that I allowed an outside force to separate me from it. The only thing that I can do at this point is dust off my notes and put all my effort into spending time with God every day. This blog is testament to the progress I have made in that direction, as far as being dedicated to a daily task, as well as evidence of how much improvement I still need in that area.

INDONESIA: VOLCANO ERUPTION

VOLCANO ERUPTS IN INDONESIA

CNN ARTICLE

FAIR WELL AND ADIEU TO YOU FAIR SPANISH LADIES...

FAIR WELL AND ADIEU TO YOU LADIES OF SPAIN...
FOR WE'VE RECEIVED ORDERS FOR TO SAIL BACK TO BOSTON,
AND I FEAR..WE SHALL NEVER..SEE THEE.... AGAIN.....

Well, that was fun. Good 'ole Quint.

So, here it is... 12:34am and the Tornado Watch #519, issued by the NWS (National Weather Service), will finally expire around 2 am this morning. It got pretty dicey here for a while. Cracks of thunder, blasts of frequent lightning and epic metric-ton buckets of rain had me figuring we'd need to get into the crawl space underneath the house. CRAWL SPACE? REALLY?!?! They call it a crawlspace because things CRAWL IN THERE! You know...creepy-crawlies? And let me tell you something... we got some award winning crawlies down there. I should take some pictures and post them next time I go down there. I HATE GOING DOWN THERE! The spider webs down there contain corpses of deceased victims of a spider that places a FOAM (or some frothy looking similar type thing...) around their victims. I've not seen the spider, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY!, but proof of it's existence is prevalent in abundance. Our furnace and sump pump are down there. UGH. The thought makes me uncomfortable. Let's discuss something less "Pit of Suck"-ish. (That will make sense once I post an illustration of the same title.)

You know, I was going to try to discuss the weather with you, but I decided against it. Talking about the weather says to me "I have nothing better to say..." and I do believe that is not true. I have something awesome to say!! oooohh.... I hear thunder again outside. I wonder if the tail of the storms is passing us now. I looked at a satellite picture of my brothers apartment... it was from like 8 months ago (discovered by the current contents of his driveway, vehicles which have not been there for 8 months). That's such Boooooloney. And that's all I have to say about that.

Moving right along. Let's talk W.O.W.  =P

The Guild Project Initiative is coming along. I accepted a promotion to Guild Master of The Knights of Duskwood (DALVENGYR). That makes a total of 7 Guilds that I am managing, of which my twin has accepted Guild Master positions for 3 of them. The organization of mats and supplies is near completion, as all characters have enough bag space to receive shipments to their specific guild. Each character is now utilizing their bank and bag space more effectively. I discovered something quite interesting about the bank slots available to a character and certain profession specific bags... I will continue to investigate and tell you what I find. But anyway, I digress... All profession scrolls go to those characters who have those professions. That way they will always have anything they can learn available (ooooohh... thunder again...tee hee hee), as well as I will always know who to go to for the scrolls. Suffice to say, almost everything is where it belongs, and those characters that have stuff to disperse will be rectified tomorrow.

I have to admit, handling the Auction House (ooooohh, looooong thunder...) is going better than I anticipated. And I am getting better at it. I know I'm not making profit on the stuff I sell, but I don't want to make a profit from it, as I am not yet schooled in the finesse of other sellers and price markets. If I get something from those items I put up there, that's all I'm looking for. If some one wants to buy my product and turn around and sell it for 10x what I ask (ANOTHER THUNDER.... this is much more frequent...), they can do that, doesn't bother me one bit. I got what I wanted for it. Anyway...

This entry has gone on long enough, considering it's 1:16am already. Eh?

The Illustrious Kuragari

TYPHOON CHINA

TYPHOON CONSON TORE INTO CHINA TODAY

The storm, which already killed at least 39 people during its westward march across the Philippines this week, was packing maximum sustained winds of 139 kph (86 mph), according to the Joint Typhoon Warning Center, making it the equivalent of a Category 1 hurricane.

EARTHQUAKE UNITED STATES

THE EARTH ROCKS THE WHITE HOUSE...

3.6 MAGNITUDE
WASHINGTON, D.C.

QUICK POST: THE EARTH SHALL HAVE 2 MOONS...

WHAT?!?

No, seriously!

Two moons on 27^th August 2010

Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will cultivate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles off earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons.

The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.

THOUGHTS, INTONATIONS AND DECISIONS...

MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD BLOG... BUT WHAT MAKES BLOGGING WORTH IT? IS IT NOT JUST A DIARY THAT EVERYONE ON THE PLANET HAS ACCESS TO? AND WHO READS THEM?

These questions have plagued me since I began blogging. Seriously, out of the billions of people on this planet, what makes my blog worth reading? To be sincere, I doubt anyone would read my blog, my family doesn't even read it, so why would anyone else? My family is cognizant of my tonal inflections and crazy personality that they can comprehend from my typed word... but what about people who don't know me? The truth is that it is a barrier that one must overcome. Fear of rejection when your most intimate thoughts are placed on a platter that the planetary inhabitants have access to. Out of smorgasbord of data available on the internet, the presentation of a blog has to be appealing. Now do not confuse this point. You are not trying to sell yourself. You do not have to out shine anyone. You simply have to do your thing and let the population take what they will from it. You do this for your self. A data-print of your existence on this planet and the life that you live. Success is achieved not by the measure of popularity with the cyber-human population, but in tangible identification with your self and your one life. Do you think people get a real feel for you and your life? Does your blog honestly convey your personality? What will a reader walk away from your blog with? What purpose does your blog serve? Does it give you a release of personal demons? Does it instruct or teach people how to do (or not do) something that you have experienced? People inherently need to feel a connection with something before they will commit their time and interest in something. Is that selfish? No, not at all. The human existence, in all it's glory and splendor, is a very short span of time in which we only have a set amount of time to dedicate to any one thing. We compartmentalize our time by priority and make decisions based on what we value our time is worth. So, this blog is going to take a turn into the personal life of the author and while there are things that may run the gambit of the human psyche and our grand range of emotions, I rededicate myself to making it an honest portrait of my life. Successes and failures, highs and lows, happiness and grief.

Welcome to the Illustrated Thought. A blog of the life and times of Karl J. Kabelis.

ZOMG! IT'S AN UPDATE!

Well, it's been a while (a week?) since my last update. Things have been pretty crazy. I've been spending some time at my brothers house and I actually went to the beach for the first time this year... I can't even remember when the last time I went before that. The Lil' Man wanted to eat sand...and was most displeased when we wouldn't allow him to. He's so cute, and his 1st Birthday is coming up in August. He's growing up so fast, it's really amazing how fast time flies. When I was younger, time seemed to go by so slow, days seemed to go on forever; now it seems like I wake up and shortly thereafter go to bed. I know there's a day in there somewhere, but to be honest, the unremarkable nature of the way I spend my days has really left a sour taste in my mouth. Which makes a great segue to my next topic...

Bob Probert, for those of you who don't know, was a professional hockey player that teamed with the Chicago Blackhawks as well as the Detroit Red Wings. However, his playing of hockey was not what he was well known for. Probert was a professional Bruiser. He laid the smack down on opposing teams who were playing a little 'dirty' and is infamous in the NHL for his epic fights. Cheering on a Probert fight was like watching a train wreck...you just couldn't look away. On July 5th 2010 on a boat with friends and family, Bob Probert entered his final battle on this earth, and succumbed to chest pains that resulted in his death. As far as I could find no 'official' cause of death was determined, but foul play was ruled out by the M.E. (Medical Examiner). Click on the link to go to the source...

Windsor Regional Hospital in Ontario have found out that no foul play affected the death of former NHL enforcer Bob Probert.

 Now why would I include this in my blog? Probert died at the age of 45. Speculation to his recreational activities aside, I imagine that the fights he was in took their toll on his body. Still...45. We go through this life expecting that we are given anywhere between 75 to 110 years to walk this earth. We "EXPECT" that much, however, the truth is that God alone knows how long we have. Now, I'm not going to get into a debate about God's Almighty existence, suffice to say that when your final breath is drawn, you will certainly find out. It's that last breath, that final moment that got my attention. YOU NEVER KNOW. If my life is allowed to go on till 45, that means I only have 10 years left on this earth. That put things into sharp perspective for me. Life is too short... No matter how many years you have.

Had my first video call with my youngest brother. Talking on the telephone seems so lame now... tee hee hee. I'm addicted! I highly recommend it if you haven't had a video call with anyone.

ART UPDATE: Seem to be making progress with the Wacom Tablet, but not having any consistency in it's performance. I got the driver installed for the 64-bit system, but I still cannot set the pen pressure in the pen tablet properties because it will not open. Searching the net finds lots of people with this issue, however their uninstalling and reinstalling the driver fixed the problem for them. This is quite possibly the most frustrating thing, as I have the drive to work with my art, but cannot fine tune it without spending hours on one drawing utilizing the mouse. I will keep you posted as the situation progresses.

Well that's it for now.

THE END OF THE DAY

Well, here we are at the end of yet another day. It amazes me how quickly time flies. Yesterday was the 4th of July, and aside from the entire neighborhood putting together a grand finale for the celebration that put Navy Pier to shame, it was a pretty uneventful day.

I have been feeling under the weather lately, can not figure the cause or source... hopefully it's related to having a whacked out sleeping schedule, because that is one of my goals to get my sleeping schedule on track. Find the cause, you take care of the problem, right?

Tomorrow I will begin scanning images and importing them to Photoshop. Unfortunately my Wacom Graphire tablet/mouse are not playing well with Windows 7 64-bit.  At this point I am just going to collect the images and probably put them on disc, but we will see. I need to configure a back up system for my laptop. I am keenly aware of how dependent I have become on my laptop, and how quickly things can go wrong.

Well, in order to get my sleeping schedule on track, I have to get to bed now.     XD

GOOD MORNING WORLD!!

It is early in the morning here and I've been up all night playing FABLE 2 on my brothers XBOX 360. The game is sweet, though it seems VEEEERY long. I have to confess that I've gone the darkside. Some of the villagers are so rude! You have a dog in the game, and these bozo's come up and KICK THE DOG! Well, I'm sorry, I only have one response to such rude behavior...Slaughter the TOWN!!! It's very silly, and to understand all this you really do have to play the game. But anyway, I digress....

I am setting up my desk for the massive influx of drawings that I will be scanning in the next few days. It really is liberating to know that I can take all my old drawings, sketches and unfinished works and put them on the computer and work them into some semblance of order... not to mention finally get them out there!

Not much to say other than that... Happy 4th of July Eve!!  I don't know about all you, but my neighborhood has been celebrating this whole end of the week. I can only imagine that the 4th is going to be WILD!

FINAL POSTING FOR TODAY... I SWEAR!!

ZOMG! I don't update for months (or years) at a time and now I've got 4 posts in the same day. I LOVE BEING RANDOM!!      ^_^

Ok, so I've got my scanner hooked up and working (Yay Me!!) and I got bit by the Photoshop Zombie. And I am happy to announce that my first drawing is ready for release.


This is ZOMBUNNY.

In "Once Upon A Journey, An Adventure Broke Out", Zombunny befriends Zombey and joins him on many epic quests. Yes, he's a bunny. Bunnies are Kool! Alright, I have a 10 month old nephew, and he will be reading soon. (They are still kool though!)

SO MUCH GOING ON!

Ok. I can take a hint.  <>
I went out to mow the lawn, and after 5 minutes of mowing, the engine popped a bolt! I had noticed that the mower was running oddly prior, but it is an old mower so I did not think much of it. Suddenly there's this bolt laying on the ground, and it is SMOKING!

Now I am not mechanically inclined, however, I do know engine bolts shouldn't smoke. (Surgeon General agrees, smoking is bad for your health...).  LOL  So, I did what any self respecting 'non-mechanically inclined' person would do... I called my brother.  He and I will be looking at it tomorrow morning, so I shall continue the tale of "LANDSCAPING SHENANIGANS" in ONCE UPON A JOURNEY, AN ADVENTURE BROKE OUT!!!

I finalized the layout for this blog.
I set up my Deviant Art site. 
I set up my iGoogle home page & gadgets.
I hooked up my scanner, AND it is WORKING!

DEVIANT ART GALLERY

I now have a Deviant Art Gallery (not that there's anything up there yet...) which you can see/access on the right side of the page, in the RECENT ARTWORK section. My scanner, while it did not flat line the laptop (Thank God Almighty!), it does not have the proper Windows 7 drivers to install. I am still investigating... My only option may be to upgrade/replace my scanner.  

sigh...

Gave myself a haircut finally. Trimmed up my facial hair. I look and feel like a new man.
Will be mowing the lawn today.

After my nap with the Lil' Man (my nephew Nathaniel)  =D

EARLY MORNING

Well, here it is, 6:00am and I am updating again. Slaves to technology, right? I guess in some ways this is good, it affords me the opportunity to discipline myself to attending to one thing on a daily basis. We all have to start somewhere, right? Seems more like a daily diary entry than anything else.

I will be attempting to hook up my scanner to my laptop this morning to identify if it will function with a Windows 7 (64-bit) operating system. Worse case scenario, it will flat line my laptop. Best case scenario... I will be posting some images of artwork that I have been working on. 

I will probably post again with the results either way (hopefully...).

ZOMBIE FASCINATION

So here it is, the posting that I have been putting off... the reason for my Zombie Fascination.

... sigh ...

I cannot specifically say when it started, though I suspect that it began one fateful night in New Orleans, Louisiana, when myself and a small cadre of friends went to a conference centered around the Pagan beliefs and representatives of each particular venue of beliefs were on hand to demonstrate their ritual practices. Now I wish I could say that it was all very fine and good, however, it turned out to be an event, a day and an experience that I shall nay forget as long as I exist. 

But that's a story for another posting.  XD 

There is an amazing resemblance between the grotesk, and often chilling, representation of animated corpses seeking out a meal among a race that inherently disregards utilizing their brains for something other than autopilot, and the social behaviors of the human race. 

Now I will say this first: 

The following are my personal opinions (i.e. this is MY blog...) 

and I have no interest in offending anyone, however...

the statements made are based on my personal experiences and observations thus far in my life. 

"I want to be different, just like everyone else..."

1. FADS = PLAGUE. One person is SOOOO lazy, they put their clothes on inside out and thinks wearing your clothes this way is good. That person convinces another person that yes... clothes worn inside out is good. The next thing you know, everywhere you look, thousands of seamstress hours are brutally mauled as their creations are turned inside out. Bring in a high falootin' so-n-so to endorse this 'movement' and begin a whole clothing line dedicated to it, and you have FAD ZOMBIES. All bit by the same plague. The newest diet, house size, vehicle, 6-direction washing machines, cure for the latest ailment with side effects that outweigh the cure.
2. POLLS...Pure Plague propaganda. I ask 3 doctors a question about [insert subject]. 2 of them answer one way, 1 answers another way. The following statement is TRUE. "Two out of every three doctors polledor tax [subject]. agreed [insert subject agenda]". Now you are ready to launch your agenda platform and you dispense the results of the poll in magazines, radio and T.V. which places your [subject] in the minds and conversations of everyone who were exposed to the poll. People exposed to the poll find themselves in the position of agreeing or disagreeing with the [subject], which creates sides. Enter the government which then has to take an official position about the [subject], suddenly political officials are using the [subject] as a platform to launch their campaign for election, and the government as a ruling body has to pass a law or addendum to the law to legislate

There are more, but perhaps I will put them in another post. The main theme of the Zombie Fascination is it only takes one. Once you are bit, you are one of them.   o_O

ZOMG! A NEW POST??!?!?

SO I WILL CONTINUE TO PRETEND THAT SOMEONE OTHER THAN MYSELF IS READING THIS BLOG, AND MAKE THE OBLIGATORY APOLOGIES FOR NOT UPDATING... SOME THING THAT I'VE NOTICED HAPPENS FREQUENTLY IN THE BLOGVERSE. SO MUCH SO IN FACT THAT THE VERY REASON THAT I AM WRITING IS BECAUSE IT ANNOYED ME TO THE *Nth* DEGREE. YOU KNOW, IF YOU ARE GOING TO START A BLOG, YOU SHOULD STICK WITH IT. NOW I WON'T GO SO FAR AS TO SAY THAT LIFE IS ONE BLOG ENTRY AFTER ANOTHER, BUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELF A BLOGGER IF YOU UPDATE ONCE A YEAR OR PERHAPS ONCE EVERY OTHER MONTH? PEOPLE GET BORED CHECKING FOR UPDATES DAY AFTER DAY, JUST TO HAVE THEIR ANTICIPATIONS DECIMATED BY YOUR LACK OF DISCIPLINE.

ERE'GO, I AM UPDATING MY BLOG AND AM GOING TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT A DAILY.  =P
SHORT ENTRY, BUT AN ENTRY NONE THE LESS!!

KURAGARI